COVID-19, General, Introvert, Reserved Rebel, Self-Care

Introverts and Virtual Small Talk Don’t Mix

Custom-Introverts-and Zoom Happy Hours-2

Introverts and Small Talk

Dear Extroverts (and Ambiverts)—I’d hoped to get through the COVID-19 Quarantine without saying this, but after receiving several invitations to virtual get-togethers (which I both appreciate and find stressful), I feel the need to share the reason why I (and other Introverts) may not “attend”…

If introverts hate small talk at cocktail parties and other in-person events… we REALLY dislike it at virtual ones!

There, I said it… Whew!

Maintaining Introvert Social Energy Reserves

Not only are schools using Zoom and other digital platforms for virtual classrooms and remote learning—these platforms are also being used for a variety of virtual happy hours, get-togethers, parties and events.

I’m not sure how other introverts feel about that, but for me, logging onto Zoom for a virtual social event feels like… a lot.
Especially on Week 5 or 6 of the COVID-19 Quarantine, when my introverted nerves are nearly shot, and I’m trying take care of family and home, write, and manage my stress levels!

It’s not that I don’t want to be invited, because I appreciate every invitation. But if I opt out… repeatedly—just know that it’s because my Introvert Social Energy Reserves are running low and need to be replenished.

Maintaining those Energy Reserves is crucial, and daily life (as well as COVID-19 anxiety and uncertainty), drains them fairly quickly.

The best way for me to replenish my energy level (and peace of mind) is through solitude and self-care, which can be a challenge to prioritize while quarantined with my wonderful family of extroverts. Saying “yes” to time alone, means saying “no” to other things, including virtual social events.

IG Live Events Are Different

While virtual events that include my face on a screen and virtual small talk may feel taxing to my introvert sensibilities, IG Live events are different (read: #ClubQuarantine with DJ D-Nice).

When I “attended” #ClubQuarantine and #CouchParty the following week, I was able to join the IG live party virtually—while in my pajamas, cooking dinner and enjoying a glass of wine.
I danced around in my kitchen, singing along to my favorite old school songs, and typed my DJ song requests into the comment section.
I also thoroughly enjoyed hearing the virtual roll call of celebrity VIP’s as they “entered” Club Quarantine!
And when one of my favorite songs played through the speakers, instead of proclaiming, “That’s my jam!” as I would have, had I been on the dance floor—I typed it into the IG comments instead.

I prefer virtual IG parties over Zoom events, for the same reason I enjoy writing in coffee shops—to be amongst “the people” without feeling forced to interact, if I‘m not up to it that day.

People-ing Is Hard

So, Extroverts (and Ambiverts), please understand… If people-ing in person is a challenge for Introverts, virtual people-ing is even more of a struggle.

But that doesn’t mean your Introverts love you any less. 😉

Take care and enjoy your weekend!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About drdayolanier

Hi. I’m Dayo Lanier (affectionately known as Dr. Dayo to the students I’ve worked with), and I’m a pediatrician, turned writer (of articles and songs). On Reserved Rebel, I lend my introverted, ADHD, multipotentialite, Coach’s wife, Christian mom, arts & science perspective (along with a background in medicine), to offer encouragement, insights, and information on a variety of topics, ranging from health & wellness, creativity & music, education, parenting and self-development. The Reserved Rebel Mission: Encouragement to honor your differences, embrace unconventionality, live authentically, and create a balanced life.
View all posts by drdayolanier →

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.